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July 24th, 2006
02:07 am
looking back, i couldn't even handle highschool in grade 11. who knew it would accumulate to almost becoming a drop-out, ditching theatre, and mr.way asking me everyday if i was "okay"
weird.
im trying to grasp the concept of infinity.. and failing.
"AND WE'RE FUCKED."
don't ever stop your sound effects.
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November 16th, 2005
12:58 pm
so uhm, coldplay tickets for vancouver show go on sale november 21st. im posting this partially for the benefit of others, but mostly because i just need to vent excitement.
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September 15th, 2005
08:04 pm
so uhm, my email got hacked into and deleted, and orangemmm is no more. if everyone could comment with thier email adds.
tanyabrakes@hotmail.com
please add me.. i feel so alone!
im annoyed.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/nolegs/angry.gif) irritated
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July 14th, 2005
09:20 pm
oh man, work today was so-so-so fun(even though it was long..)! i heart you christine!
ps, right after i dropped you off i saw colton at the gas bar. lol. rock on. and he was wearing his LC shirt. does it get any cooler than that?? heck no.
everyone come be xanga fags with me.. cataract_bunny
Current Music: britt black - jet black heart
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June 6th, 2005
09:10 pm
I must admit, ive been enjoying xanga. Ive missed my dear livejournal though, who has been with me since the beginning of my blogging adventure. haha, dork.
Its awkward trying to deal with people who are really upset by the recent tragedy. Ive been there, i know death, and i can say that at least for me, i don't want people talking to me about it, unless i come to them. but i don't know how it is with others, and im scared to say something wrong. and i almost feel guilty because im not balling my eyes out. oy. i almost just want to sit in comfortable silence and hold their hand.. i think thats what i would want. I love you, please don't die, i don't think i could handle it.
Its sort of strange when you think about it.. that people just.. die.. like that.. randomly. Maybe the fates draw from a hat, i think that would make the most sense to me. Otherwise.. what the hell goes on??
Otherwise things are pretty okay.. 9 facking days until Batman Begins!!
Current Music: the shins - caring is creepy
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May 27th, 2005
03:41 pm
I didn't go to school today. I just couldn't bring myself to get up and do it. Im tired, all the time. I hate not sleeping. I haven't talked to my brother in a week. This is partly because Ive been living at the school, and partly because we can find nothing to say to each other besides "clean up your dishes". Which apperently doesn't happen anyway, because the last time me and my mother talked it was her yelling at me to wash my brothers dishes. She still hasn't brought up Vacouver with me. Which is stupid, because I know shes going to say no. She told my sister, who in turn told me. Its fine, because Im able to go anyway. I thought she would rather have me drive than go down and stay with a friend and his 20 year old brother +friends, but if thats what she thinks is best, so be it.
Im so grateful for such close friends. I love you.
These past couple of weeks have been nuts.. Im out of my head.
IM SO PROUD OF OUR SHOW! Rylie, we have lights. Devon, you're first ever show was amazing, everyone loved you. Amanda and Christopher, you are only proving what I already knew you were capable of, you facking rock. Michelle, you are NUTS, you never fail to live upto a role. So Rylie, I hope you're final highschool show truly made you happy, we really pulled our shiat together, and Im so happy. Closing night tonight, we are going to have good times ladies and gents.
I can't think of much else to say, there is so much I want to.. but don't know how to express it through words. Im okay, really. Just.. one of those times. Adam would know what I am talking about.. and perhaps everyone else does too.
Nothing unusual, nothing strange. Close to nothing at all. The same old scenerio, the same old rain, and theres no explosions here. Something unusual, something strange, called from nothing at all. I saw a spaceship fly by your window, did you see it disappear? Amie, come sit on my wall, and read me the story of old. Tell it like you still believe that the end of the century, is a change for you and me. Nothing unusual, nothings changed.
Current Music: damien rice - amie
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May 19th, 2005
04:27 am
oh my fucking gawd. im.. speechless.
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May 17th, 2005
12:33 am
haha, kinda makes me laugh how dead on this is.. well, maybe.
What You Really Think Of Your Friends
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Christa is your soulmate. |
| You truly love Michael. |
| You consider Jace your true friend. |
| You know that Sarah is always thinking of you. |
| You'll remember Strachen for the rest of your life. |
| You secretly think Manda is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times. |
| You secretly think that Adam is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker. |
| You secretly think that Kirk is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Kirk changes lovers faster than underwear. |
| You secretly think Kate is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Kate has a hidden internet romance. |
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: ballad of nice and easy - gomez
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May 9th, 2005
02:57 pm - the queen my lord, is dead.
She should have died hereafter.
There would have been a time for such a word.
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by a idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
I want to lay on the floor and talk about random happy things.. recite favourite lines.. sleeping bags.. guitar.. all that good stuff that is lacking this year.
I was told last night, relationships are the basis of our reality. True? Yes? No? That makes me worry.. that perhaps I should patch up my relationship with my mother. I just.. don't know what to do. Ive taken everyones advice. What do you do when all else fails?
I think saturday was the day that I finally realized how important first impressions are. After meeting random people on the street that evening, I hate to say it, but I would have blown them off if I hadn't gotten a good impression. But who knows what I would be missing out on? Haha, one guy I met told me I had a good aura. Is that not cool? I don't know. I don't think I would approach me and randomly introduce myself. But there are those people where.. you know.. you just want to talk to them.
I somewhat want to know everyone, but Ive heard that that isn't such a good idea. Well, at least not for everyone to know me. People can really be horrible, Ill give you that. What is it with high school kids? Maybe thats not even it.. maybe the whole world is like this and I just havn't experienced it? Barf. Save me.
Why do I fall so hard for boys I know I can't have? You'd think Id have learned the first time. Though, I do love the noise it makes when my heart gets ripped out..
Current Music: lost in translation soundtrack
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May 6th, 2005
02:57 am
Barf.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/nolegs/drained.gif) drained
Current Music: good ol jack johnson.
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May 1st, 2005
08:49 pm
Haha, when I wash the bubbles down one side of the sink, they come up the other.
Its as simple as something that nobody knows, that her eyes are as big as her bubbly toes.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/nolegs/amused.gif) amused
Current Music: jackie.
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April 25th, 2005
12:55 pm - macbeth, etc.
Seems I only find time to write these things while Im at school. I guess I could while up at stupid hours in the morning, but my computer tends to overload, losing all my work.
Today is my birthday. Yay for me.
You're my new favourite. We shall sit and talk about random happy things, while listening to garden state and reciting cheesy one liners.
Im so done with worrying about things. I don't know, last night I was just in one of those moods, where I was thinking about what people have told me about leaving high school. About how many people Im going to loose touch with. Oh well, Im not even thinking about it anymore... I still have another year in this place. Ive changed so much since last year, in that I think about things so much more. I seem to see everything for more than it is, which oftentimes can appear as the most beautiful. Its nice... that way of seeing. Last night was perfectly lit by the full moon.
That, trusted home
can enkindle you unto the crown,
Besides the thane of cawdor. But tis strange:
and oftentimes to win us to our harms,
The instruments of darkness tell us truths,
win us with honest trifles, to betrays
in deepest connsequence.
Guess who is getting 100% on her memory quiz tomorrow!
Doode, come party with me friday night!
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April 14th, 2005
01:17 pm - "so like, oh. my. gawd."
Somebody jacked my discman at the festival yesterday. This upsets me greatly.
I just gave myself a papercut.
I don't understand how some people talk. Do they even realize what is coming out of their mouths?
"Okay, then jesse was like dude you have to throw the first punch. And sean was like no way man, you have to. And then they like, started arguing about it. Like, if you are going to plan to fight you have to have someone throw a punch. SO like, no one did, and they rolled around on the ground. It was like, so fucking gay."
That has been going on beside me for the last half hour. Gawd I can hate highschool sometimes.
oooooooooh... lunchbell!
Current Music: announcements
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March 26th, 2005
09:44 pm - Mario Cart Double-Dash
Im in Squamish right now. Its uber fun, I love my cousins.
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12:19 am
Okay, so, my out-of-country adventure begins tomorrow. Haha, "out-of-country". Makes it sound so exotic. Im only going to America. But now that I think of it, thats really what I tend to do here on lj... Sit at this desk at rediculous hours in the morning with a blank screen in front of me, and wonder how I can jazz up my life to give you folks a good read. But... perhaps that is what we all do? Or maybe the excitment of NYC is just clouding my brain...
And I suddenly have nothing else to say.
Current Music: damien rice - delicate
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March 23rd, 2005
02:30 am
I can't explain to you this feeling.
I just want somebody to love.
Those two comments are unrelated.
I wish I could sleep.
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January 22nd, 2005
05:08 pm
What is with people these days?
People they just..... don't know.
Current Music: Matt Good, White Light Rock and Roll Reveiw (AMAZING!)
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January 3rd, 2005
08:58 pm - And I wonder, whos going to be president, tweedle dum or tweedle dumber?
With the new year upon us, and school once again ready to begin, I wonder how things will be different next Christmas. How many of my current friends will I still be in contact with? It would be sad to see them drift away, but, inevitably, some will. No tears will be shed, in their place only a melancholic bitterness that can be washed away only by the the harsh waves of time. Im not going to fret, the drift works both ways. Think of all the amazing new people Im going to meet!
Last night, I decided on a new years resolution. From here on in, Im living in the moment. "Live like there is no tomorrow". It is an age old expression, but this year, I am taking it to heart. Its about time that I accept the fact that what is there one second may be gone the next. When I look back on the past year and think of all the things I could have done, could have had, or been, I am disappointed in myself. All this time Ive tried to deny it, but I do have regrets. If I died tomorrow, as much as Id like to say that I lived my life exactly as I wanted, I havn't. There were those times when I wish I did, and didn't. The scariest part is... Im not sure what has been holding me back. And so, from now on, fuck it. Im just going for it. Besides, what the hell have I got to lose?
So, school tomorrow. I don't share some peoples feelings of dread. In fact, there is a little bit of a happy outlook here. Maybe this is only because I havn't been there for 2 weeks, but hey, its a start. And sure, stupid highschool dramatics (fack them all) can piss me off, but it'll pass. And there are things so much better, ie music and theatre. I can allow for these things to distract me from real life, even if only for short amounts of time. Err.... maybe not. Well, Ill find that happy balance. Yes. Happy balance.
Ohhhhh.... I want Mike.
3ish months until New York baby! The city that never sleeps... we were made for each other.
Doode, I want to party!
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January 1st, 2005
05:00 pm
I have come to a revelation. I am going places. Places I want, places I need. And nothing is going to stop me.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/nolegs/uncomfortable.gif) sick
Current Music: jamaican margaritaville
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November 3rd, 2004
10:33 pm
Wow, I havn't updated in ages. Everything that goes on with me just seems irrelevant compared to everything else. I feel little and insignificant. What a suprise. Im tired of this stupid thing they call emotion. I can't handle you, so just back the eff away. Will things ever get less crazy? I miss last year. I miss... i don't know. I miss spilling emotion to Adam. Thats for sure.
So the last month... has been school. You all know how absolutely fabulous it is there. And in case you don't, about as fabulous as having your hands ductaped to a steering wheel and your fingers cut off one by one (whoot denzel). Sitting in class the other day I could not figure out, for the life of me, why I was there. Why? Just why? I don't know. You tell me.
On the other hand, guitar is fannnnnnntastic. About as fantastic as a shiny green mailbox on a sunny day. Its amazing stress relief to be able to sit, chill, strum a tune. It amazes me how much i learn from other people.
I wonder if people will get annoyed with my tirless whining. And yes, many good, excellent, amazing things have happened lately as well, I just don't feel like posting them. What can I say? Im looking to the furure, and, well, it looks bright... er. Kind of.
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